Lent

Ok so it's that time of year again, lent! This time of year is a god send for getting away with not eating certain foods and having a perfect excuse to let the fam know why :)

For anyone who isn't sure, it starts today (22nd Feb) and ends 5th April.

I went to my local shopping centre today to buy a new suit as I have a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck! :)
Before I went home I went to the health food store and bought some detox cordial and some beetroot juice for me to fast on and also bought some pomegranate juice from the supermarket. The beetroot juice isn't too bad, bit acidic so will only have in small amounts.
I will have two 100ml of each juice per day for the next week, then after the weeks up I'm not sure what to do...

I'm quite excited :D I've already started and it's filling me up and tasting yummy :))

Xxx

I AM MORTIFIED!!!!

I am livid.

I had a big Christmas, it's is literally so impossible to not eat properly infrint of my family at big get togethers. I also left my lax at home (we were staying at my nans) and there is no lock on her bathroom door,also I had to share a room with my mum so couldn't do any crunches, push ups or anything. I put on like, 5lbs!!!
Then during January the weather had been awful and for the most part I had injured my ankle so really between Christmas and now i have been a complete and utter failure.
This weekend was the worst. I went to my nans again on Saturday, I was looking forward to meeting my mum there as I don't live with her anymore. Mum picked me up and during the hours drive to nans she stopped off at McDonalds, her boyfriend insisted he was going to buy the meals. The healthiest thing I could see on the menu was a sweet chilli chicken wrap fir 285 calories.
Later in the evening my nan had laid out a buffet; sausage plait, salad, ham, garlic bread, potato dauphinois...
I had a small amount of each and then filled up on cherry tomatoes. Then she served an unexpected desert of apple crumble. I said no thank you as I'm trying to cut down and she said "nonsense your diet can start tomorrow". I woke up the next day still feeling full and felt sick!
Then she plonked a fried breakfast infront of me, oh god!

Anyways I weight myself when I got home and to my horror have BALLOONED to 150!!!!!!


I freaked out, I mean really freaked out, for the first time in ages. I took 5 lax and have been formulating a way to carry on with my plan of losing 10lbs by the end of the month :)

I have a few cans of weight watchers soup in the cupboard; chicken, Leek and potatoe is 95cals per can.
I will have 2 cans a day for the next week a d then will fast for the last 3 days. I worked out that I should lose albs on the fast and hopefully around 5 on the soup.


Wish me luck Girlies,


Your ridiculously huge and binging friend

New year, new start

Wow, another rough period of not being able to come on here and post! I have some awful news girls, someone hacked into my email account and posted s link to this blog on twitter!!! So please make sure you all keep an eye on your accounts and change passwords around to be safe!

Basically my aunt was on Twitter (I've deleted account on there now) and she read EVERY post on here and about all the lax! Part of me was really relieved that someone knew but when she called me round to her house last weekend to talk about it I was terrified, like literally shaking! I went there and spoke a little about it but it's the same old story when people don't understand, she said I should just stop and be positive as there are people worse off than me in the world. No disrespect to her as I know she was looking out for me and trying to make things better but it's not that simple is it? No one seems to understand how we feel and what we think, it's like, sometimes there's s dark cloud around my head. When I lose weight I feel successful, ethereal, normal. When I purge with mh lax I feel like I appropriately punish myself for binging. Nothing is ever simple.

If anything, this incident has spurred me on. I have deleted all accounts online that I don't need so I have more privacy and can focus on my goals.

My aim is to lose 10lbs by the 29th Feb :)
I will keep you all updated with my progress and food diary's.

In other news...I've started talking to a guy who I actually think I like. I went to college with him and we got back in touch lately online, to be honest, I get the impression he has had an ED too. I could be wrong but it could be quite a big thing if he does and if it were to go anywhere. He's really lovely :) I'm going to be meeting up with him soon to catch up so I need to lose that 10lbs fast!!!


How are you all? I'm sorry I've left it so long again, love you all xxx

I am literally too scared to eat at the moment. The good news is that I couldnt eat even if I tried as I have no money until my pay day which is a week away.
I seem to have lost my emotional attachment to food (at long last!), if ever I was upset I would binge, but lately I just go to my bedroom hungry.
I look at myself and feel physically sick, I just feel so negative right now. What's worse is that Christmas is coming up soon and I am dreading it! All my family will be there with Turkey, potatoes, stuffing, dessert....OMG!
I don't know what I can do apart from stop eating completely, I've lasted 2 days so far on a fast but there's a big part of me that wants to be healthy. Ana is taking full control of my mind.

Does anyone have any advise?? xx

Weight Wars: A new hope

I'm back again!! Have not posted in ages because yet again my laptop is busted! WL has been slow but I'm starting to regain control. Am currently finishing a juice fast, and starting a 10 day water fast tomorrow. Already got a huge headache, but that's the price you pay huh.

Hope you girlies are ok, have missed you xxx

Just a quick update...

I have fallen off the wagon again this weekend, had to go round my dads for a roast dinner and got carried away. Feel really icky, major food baby and everywhere i look there are rolls of flab. I cried infront of mirror this evening. Why cant I just give in to her and STOP stuffing my face?
anyways, new plan for this week is:

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday
Pitch brioche (137 cals)
Babybel (61cals)
200ml orange juice (76cals)
Why protein shake (100cals)
=374 per day

Thursday and Friday
Babybel (61 cals)
200ml orange juice (76cals)
Whey protein shake (100cals)
= 237 cals

Saturday and Sunday
3 servings of 150ml orange juice
= 171 cals


I am going to try my hardest to stick to this, my goal is to lose 4lbs by Sunday. Wish me luck!
(By the way, the reason im obsessed with OJ at the moment is because I watched this diet show and vitamin C helps the body absorb other minerals and if you lack it you get scurvy LOL)

I just need to be thinspired